I missed you. It’s been a while, but I always find myself coming back here. Truthfully, my biggest struggle last year was consistency, not only in content but in my life. I inconsistently gave attention to my health and well-being and dabbled in between life’s highs and lows. That was part of my problem, I wasn’t taking ownership of my life. I succumbed to the thought that I was merely a crab letting the ocean tides push and pull me away from the shore. Sometimes I would be okay, and others I’d feel like I’m drowning.
If there’s one thing I learned from last year, is that living life letting things just happen to you is not really living. Sure, we’re alive, but if we’re not being proactive on our happiness and health, we are subject to the worst. I thought to myself, “No…I’m not going to ask for that extension because I will ace that deadline!”. I’m telling myself that after 4 weeks of having gout, “No! My foot will heal in less than a week, and I will take better care of my body”.
The mind is the most POWERFUL thing, just as we can paralyze ourselves with negativity, we can fuel our passions and life with positivity. There are literal studies of this (don’t quote me, but I’m sure Google will help you find some). I have living proof, my lovely Grandmother who is apparently over 70 but hasn’t aged a day. She refuses to think of herself as old or sick, and low and behold she’s still active, driving, and positive as ever. (She’s my inspiration, I love you!)
It is the new year,
2019 is upon us!
I love the saying,
“New Year New Me”,
but are we ever really new?
Regardless of the true answer, I love this time because it gives me an opportunity to reflect. I have an anxiety disorder, and I am not letting it take over my life any more. I get anxious, and it’s hard sometimes, but I’m learning to not let the ocean of life rock me over. I am anchoring my heart, and taking care of this vessel as we sail through the seas of growth and love. My goals this year is to be proactive, have faith in God and myself, and trust everything is going to be okay.
It’s a scary lesson, and takes so much faith, but I have hope and love. It’s surreal to see how much we’ve grown over the course of the years, especially when I started blogging when I was just 15. Wow it’s been almost 10 years! If you read what I wrote then, I’m sorry haha. Honestly, I’m not ashamed, I loved my soul then. I just can’t help but look back and laugh. The biggest difference in being 24 vs 14 is confidence. I’ve learned to be confident in myself, my abilities, and talents. I’ve stopped trying to fit in and embraced who I am (slowly trying to). What I can say is that it’s been a journey, and it still is, but that’s what life is about! My biggest fear is the uncertain, but life in itself is uncertain so there’s no need to be afraid. As everyone always tells me, being afraid isn’t going to change anything. It’s so true!
We’re working on redirecting our energy. For my own mental health, I’m going to write here more often. I often strayed from this because of the pressure to take perfect pictures all the time. Now with my new phone, I’ll be sure to share the things that I’m grateful to see and just focus on the message. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and I love being able to share thoughts. We’re still growing, learning, evolving. We’re also planning on making more YouTube videos. I only hope those and my journey is helpful. I used to be anxious, afraid, and on a roller-coaster of emotions. Now? I choose to be brave, happy, and live my best life. I hope you will too!