I write this on a cloudy New York City morning, sipping on a Starbucks refresher quietly in the corner. I’ve become one of “those” people…lol, well, I vividly remember when I was younger observing others on laptops working in Starbucks. For some reason it seemed cool to me. Now, I understand why haha. It’s nice to be with your thoughts in a cafe atmosphere.
There are times when I don’t have things together that my mind and body start to panic. I start to feel guilty when I forget something, I’m running late, or I don’t handle the situation the best way I can. In all honesty, I need to be forgiving of myself. What I’ve started doing is be more contemplative and reflective. I’m trying to analyze why it happened, and what I can do differently next time. To some extent, that’s all we can do…
The battle against anxiety is not an easy one. 5 years ago I wouldn’t be able to write my feelings, instead I’d be wallowing in them. I think that’s the beauty of becoming more mature. You start learning to not worry about things you can’t control. You also learn that feeling bad isn’t going to make anything better (go figure right?). It’s so funny, because sometimes the things that are most obvious are the hardest to do. It’s an art really. It’s easy to know “the right answer” or give our peers great advice, but hard to follow it. We all have our own challenges and lessons to learn. With anxiety, sometimes it’s easy to feel like a failure or feel horrible we are not meeting up to our own standards. The truth is though, is that we are better, wiser, and stronger, than we were yesterday. The future will come, and we will only keep growing better and more equipped to deal with whatever hits us. We got this! 😀
In my thoughts today I want to share and emphasize how it’s okay not to be perfect. We are all deserving of love and feeling less stress, even if we fxck up or feel inadequate. We are only human, it’s okay not to be okay, and it’s okay to make mistakes – that’s how we grow. 🙂